I wonder..

I wonder..

am I a happier person now compared to 2 years ago..

am I more cheerful 2 years ago..

am I friendlier 2 years ago..

had I gradually lost my smile now..

My days in CGL especially in 5 Arif was always filled with laughter..

no matter how tired I was..

or how much I dread going for school..

I will still end up going home filled with laughter..

But as I go to college..

I feel that ignoring the presence of others had become a habit of mine..

and I tend to have a cold expression on my face..

Is this becoming a really bad thing..

Then I started thinking..

I didn't laugh and smile as much as I did when I was in 5 Arif..

Every day was passed by with the same routine..

attending class and going straight home after..

although it was almost the same routine as it was when I was in high school..

but somehow its lacking..

its lacking the fun..

the laughter..

the feeling that I'm home..

Friends are really hard to come by..

even after a year in college..

I couldn't really find a friend like the ones I found at 5 Arif..

Will I be able to find that atmosphere..

the laughter..

the fun of hanging out with friends..

 in PTPL..

Would I be able to miss college when I graduate like I did when I leave high school..

or will I be spending the rest of my time there repeating the same routine over and over again..

and just leave when its time to go..